hi everybody...i have been at las vegas all week long and i did not even know i was going. we left monday and i just got back today. becca called me at about midnight last saturday and said her boyfriend could not go to las vegas with her because apparantly his wife grounded him or something. anyway he could not go so she asked me to go at the last minute. becca was going for both business and a vacation. well when her boyfriend backed out she threated him to give her the money because she did not have any since he was supposed to pay her way. anyway he went ahead and gave her his business credit card and so becca and i went to las vegas on his company credit card. well i hope he does not get in troupble because we spent a lot of money on that card. we spent all our food and hotel on that card and got money out of the money machine for gambling money. i kept telling her to go easy but i think she was getting even with him for not going. well i told her it might not be his fault after all he is married and i think his wife made him stay home but i am not sure. anyway becca went to try out for a open auditision for a las vegas strip dance show. no no no not strip as in go naked but strip as in the street with all the casios on it hahhahahahha you are so silly ... anyway they would not tell us what the show was the autitisioun was for and i thought that was very susspitious but they explained that this was for a existing show and i think they were getting some dancers because they were going to change it up a little and did not want to tell the other dancers they were going to be fired soon. if that makes any sense. i think one of the shows is about to have a very big change in people and dancers but i am only guessing. anyway becca thought she would try out fot that but she did not know what to prepare for so when they were looking at her she did not have anything prepared so needless to say she did not make it to the second invitation. well becca wanted me to try out but i knew i could not do that but i filled out the ap pla ca tion but the moment it was my turn they asked me to take off my shoes. well without my shoes i am not even five foot tall and they said i was to short. boohoo boohoo boohoo so i did not even get to dance for them because i was turned away in about twenty seconds. well i was three inches too short. you have to be five feet three to be one of the dancers. well i guess they want tall dancers. wow that is a stupid rule but oh well i only did it because becca wanted me to. well i am a shorty what can i say i can not help being short. hahahahhahahahahhahah anyway while we were waiting in line becca flirted with some of the girls and oh my gosh i think they were all lesbians because becca got the phone numbers to three different girls. well actually what becca does is her own business except we shared the hotel room and she had a different partner every night and i could not get any sleep until late in the morning hours. well i can not sleep when ohh la la is gong on in the bed three feet from my head and there was lots of squueling just like little pigees hahahahahahah that was so funny...squuel squuel snort snort hahahahaha well i guess actually it was errotic for me to watch but i am not into much girl girl stuff although i am not against it and have par tis a pated several times i guess it is ok for a change once in a while. well becca had three different girls on three different nights and i just told her to cool it til we got home because i had to get some sleep anyway. i guess it would be ok to some egstent if there was a little emotion involved but there was nothing lovey dovey about this. it was just plain ohh la la for the sake of relief and nothing more. just a phisical thing. oh my goodness i guess las vegas is a wild town after all with lots of partying etc etc etc. well ok ok ok i have to say it...i guess the little piggee squueling affected me even thought i tried to cover my head with my pillow because the peaks of the mountains were hard as rocks the whole time this was going on. well i did not notice any trimbling in the valley but still when i say rock hard i mean rock hard. i thought i was going to have to get my lotion out to soften the twin betsys but luckily they relaxed and i got to sleep. well so goes my career as a las vegas chorus dancer...the entire twenty seconds worth. sometimes it is terrible being such a shorty pants. boo hoo boo hoo hahahahhahahahah bye bye p.s. i lost over a thousand dollars on the slot machines. well it was not my money. and i am afraid to guess how much becca lost. i just hope her boyfriend does not get fired by us using his credit card. bye bye again

i discovered something. i always thought i knew males really well. i thought i knew you better than you knew yourselves. i thought i knew what made you tick and tried my best to cap a tal lize on that in my daily dealings with you guys. but i learned something. i learned that you guys like toys as much as girls do. you just like a different kind of toy. like a new car or a new boat. i have always had several members of the jiggles family in my dresser. i visit mr jiggles or his cousin quite often by myself and when i have company. my male guests almost never liked to talk to mr jiggles but you guys always like it when i am the appointed one to have a conversation with him. usually you watch and listen to us talk with great interest and jaws dropped hahahhahahahahha you are so pre dict table. hahahhahaha i really do not mind much since it makes you happy. usually most of you are very con serve a tive and old fashioned but that all changed a couple of weeks ago when i bought my new love chair. personally i like it when you visit me by entering my house though the front door. that way if your boots are a little messy from playing around in the yard before you come in i can get a warm wash cloth and do some cleaning before you leave stains on the carpet. as many of you know i keep my front yard trimmed pretty closely. i use to mow the lawn every morning just after i woke up and again just before i went to bed. i did that for years but to be quite truthful i have simply gotten tired of all the mowing. so i recently have let the grass in my yard grow a little so you have to be careful when trapesing through the grass because if you fall you will probably get a grass burn on your or chin or nose hahahhahahahahha yes nose. for a while i have been inviting my guests to mow the lawn if they wanted to and that worked for awhile. I have noticed that most of you guys actually like mowing the grass and helping around the house but i always worry that lawnmower blade might be dull or something and a big chunk of the front yard might get gowaged or something and some of flower petals are very sensative. anyway when i bought that chair or actually it is a swing that i get strapped in to i noticed a big difference in the house work. in the past you guys always helped me paint the walls in my house and i thank you for that. i know the hallway got painted very often. sometimes the paint would be barely dried before the hallway got painted a second or a third time. but now you guys have changed since that internet package was delivered. i noticed that most of you now come into my kitchen thought the back door of my house. as i said in one of my earlier blogs i would much perfer my friends to enter my house through the front door instead of the kitchen door. in fact i hate it when the kitchen gets painted. yes yes yes i know i know that some of you dont paint the kitchen at your house. i know that some of your wives and girlfriends do not like the smell of new paint in the kitchen and therefore they lock the back door. well i can not help that. there were two reasons i got that chair. one was to keep renewed interest for my friends and the second was to relieve the pressure off my back and neck. well it worked. all the pressure has been taken off my back and neck and there is definately a renewed interest seen in my friends. the problem is i can not sit down. hahahahhah that is so funny. well i could not even watch a movie today because i kept twitching in my easy chair. the kitchen has been entered so much that the kitchen door is about to come off it hinges. so to make a long story short....wow not to short...hahahahhahah i am thinking about putting my new love swing in the barn and forgetting about it. i have not done it yet. all i know is i am getting cranky because we are always painting the kitchen hahahahahahahahah i am so mad hahahhahahahah bye bye

hello please do not get mad at me if i do not answer your im. i am drowning in ims. i answer as many as possible. this morning i logged on my computer at 6;00 am and i got 65 ims the first minute and 200 ims within 10 minutes. it is possible i got more than 200 because that is where my im thingee stops. and that is the first ten minutes at 6 in the morning. so please do not get mad at me if you do not get a answer every time you im me. feel free to e mail me if you want to because i always answer every letter. usually hahhahahahhaha anyway i will answer as many ims as i can. thank you for reading my blog. bye bye

something really great happened at my house yesterday.  i think a miracle happened.  those of you who read my aol journal know that i have a friend who is a body builder.  he is really huge and i think he is almost 300 pounds or close to it.  he is like 18 feet tall and he has muscles on top of muscles and is hard as a rock.  i am just a little pipsqueak next to him.  i use to see him quite often until he started competing on the body building circuit and now he is always gone.  we ended up in my mirror room a lot because i like touching him and fondling him because i think he is very beautiful.  i like muscles very much on men.  besides he is very handsome and i melt in his arms.  as you know bodybuilders shave all their hair off so they look good on camera and in magazine so not only is he hard as a rock but he is totally smooth to touch.  oh my gosh  hahahahahaha unfortuately he has one big problem that i think most males fear the most.  he has taken so many steroids that his friend mr willy is always asleep and never wakes up. i do not know the rules but i think he is not suppose to take steriods but he takes them by the truckload.  anyway it is so sad that mr willy is always tired and i can see the sadness in my friends eyes.  i have tried everything in the past but i could never get his friend to join us.  so it was mainly a one sided affair with lots of kissing and touching and fondling but no reaching  the moon.  for him anyway.  i usually got to touch the moon.  i felt so badly for him.   but anyway he came to visit his parents in dallas for the 4th of july holiday and he came to my house to visit.  i was very happy to see him and i made him lunch and later we watched tv while i sat in his lap in the rocking chair and we were tickling each other and we talked and laughed and i was having a really good time.  well i wanted to take him to bed so badly because he made me have really high hormones at that moment but i knew it would probably make him sad and i knew that mr willy would not wake up but i did not care i just wanted to fondle him all over and feel his muscles against my skin.  i guess i am really selfish but i do not mean to be that way.  women are just weak in that department when it comes to muscles.    well he started kissing my neck in that rocking chair and i absolutely melted and had to cross my legs or i would have peed in my pants again things were so intense.  i got to watch this peeing in the pants thing this is starting to become a habit hahahahaha well i can not help it i can not take neck kissing.  i go wild. hahahahaha well i am thinking now why he is so lovey dovey because he knows his friend is not going to co op erate. but i do not really care because i am getting my jollies with him putting hickeys all over my neck.  i was a cream puff. well i could not take it any more so i had him sit up and i pulled his shirt off and oh my gosh he had more muscles than ever.  his chest and arms were much more muscular that last time.  i could almost count each muscle. and his boobs were as large as my boobs but his were like heavy stones. and hot my gosh his skin was hot.  well you know my shirt had to come off because i could not pass up this op por tuneiety and it was chest to chest and i was in heaven.  and i was a total mess and i was a puddle and i could not even think or say anything.  i think my blood pressure doubled.  and when he started a conversation with miss pris that was the last straw and it started raining fearsly and i could not make the rain clouds go away and i could not even slow down little less stop. and it was so very embarrassing hahahahahahaha. and i peed on his hands and down my legs and it was good i was wearing a summer skirt and not jeans or i am sure i would have ruined them. needless to say my carpet and chair and his lap were drenched with rain water. well i could not help it. i am just a silly person. what do you expect. miss pris is very un pre dict able and has a mind of her own. anyway i had all i could take and my heart was 200 beats a minute so i jumped off his lap pulled him up and undressed him and me as fast as i could and i do not care what other people think of me and i took his hand and pulled him into the mirror room with pee still streaming down to my feet knowing the whole time that mr willy never works out in the gym but i know how to get around that little obstacle. well i threw this 300 pound man on the bed (if you can believe that hahahahhahahahah) and strattled him and my gosh he is so big and wide my knees would not even touch the mattress. and oh my oh my i thought i left the curling iron on the mirror room bed because something was burning my rear like a iron or curling iron and ouchie ouchie i reached behind me to throw it on the floor but it was not a curling iron it was mr willy standing like a statuu and on my gosh he was so tall. he was very very tall and i was absolutely surprized to say the least. and talk about a bow in his back mr willy was arching his back so much it looked like he was bending over backwards to do a back flip like a cheerleader and oh my i will dream about bananas for the next month hahahahahahaha. and happyest of all was the bodybuilder who i thought was going to start crying. well this man is so strong that he took one hand and lifted me totally off of him and with one motion i was not on my back and he was on top and a very wild conversation was held with miss priss and i noticed that she normally argues because she has a mind of her own but this time there were no complaints and boom boom boom i climbed to the top of the mountain three times in about three minutes and believe me they were very big mountans as high as the alps i think. well i was getting a neck ache because my head kept banging into the headboard ouchie ouchie ouchie. i was sweating up a storm and could barely breathe because he was so intense that his hands were squeezing all the blood out of my boobs and they were white as could be so i had to slap his hands or i think they may have fallen off hahahahahahaha. well i could tell that mr willy was starting to get tired and was loosing interest a little and i was worried because the volcano and not erupted yet for my friend and i could tell he was trying to hard and i think that might be a problem. so i had to do something fast or i think all would be for not for my friend. so i kissed my bodybuilder a long kiss on the lips and told him to let me to the work because he was obviously trying to hard to make things happen and it was not going to work. so i changed places which was good for me because miss pris was already stretched all out of porportion and i know would taking aspirins for the next few days. this time i was facing south and i could see mr willy was about to go beddy bye and i knew i had to turn things around. i told my friend to just relax and let me do all the work so i cupped the twins with my hands which were big as baseballs by the way and started lecturing me willy. i was stern but loving and gave him a good tongue lashing and told him to straighten up and act right or i would be very mad. i am good at giving that type of lecture and usually i get a good reaction from my students. and it worked. in a couple of minutes i could actually feel with my hands the baseball twins hit a home run. and the rest is history. i was so very happy for my bodybuilder because this is the first time in many years he has flown on a cloud. it must have been an allsome feeling for him because i have never seen so much liquid flow down the river. i did not know there was that much liquid in a person. i thought i was going to choke. i will say this. i hope i dont die of an overdose of steriods because i am sure i could taste it and it very different tasting than any other i have known. i was very hesitant to drink from the well but i did not want to hurt his feelings after such a great event for him so i just took some deep breaths and did my duty. i know this is important to males for some reason. anyway he went home to his parents a very happy person not only for now but now he has hope for the future. i am very happy for him. i know i crossed the line on this entry but i hope it can stay in my blog. after all i only crossed it a little bit and this is who i am. i am glad there are many different people who write blogs. actually i find it kind of interesting.

sometimes i can be evil. i can not help it. hahahahahahaaha well i am just a evil person at heart. i always like to make lots of changes in my routine and especially with my appointments so it never gets boring or run of the mill. i change the guestroom appearance several times a year and i am always looking for new experiences etc etc so it will always be new. i was looking on the innernet and i saw a love chair for sale. it was not exactly cheap it cost 350 dollars so anyway i bought it and it arrived last monday. i had to have nazeer put it together because i am not the mechanical type and it took him half a day and he sweat up a storm. it is not really a chair it is a metal frame with a bunch of wide straps that hang down that i have to get strapped into. there is really not a seat to sit on i just have straps on my legs and arms and butt i look like a puppet on a string. so i am just hanging down from the frame and swinging around. the good news for the guys is that they can move little pullies and the straps move around in all angles and distances. well i had to reward nazeer for putting it together so he was the first to try it out and i can tell you it works really good. he played with those pullies and i was spread as far wide as i could get in a hundred different positions. he thought it was great. well for the male it is great. hahahahhahahahahah i got dissy because i kept swinging back and forth back and forth like on a swing set. i will say this that there is much more power for the bang than the old fashion way. well i found out the hard way that a great advantage for the guys is that if they want to take a stroll thought the back door of the house by way of the kitchen it is very easy to do that although i am not particulary fond of that. i upped my morning teaspoon of mineral oil to two teaspoons full last tuesday. i noticed an immediate new direction for my appointments since i put it up. hahahahhahahahah oh my oh my oh woe is me ouchie ouchie hahahhahahahah that is so funny to me except it is difficult to sit in a chair and watch tv now. hahahhahahahah anyway every one of my appointments this past week strapped me into that chair and more than half visited the kitchen and made a sandwich or two. i think it is going to be very popular. i may have made a mistake in buying that chair. i will have to wait and see hahahahahahaha. i may have created a monster. that is very funny.